I keep forgetting to go with the flow, and ask myself 'why am i here', 'what is my purpose' etc. I guess that i am not here for a purpose, i am here because i am. It's not like i'm going to have any sort of effect on the world.
I need to stop overthinking stuff, leave me alone in my mind for any space of time and i will blow things out of proportion.
I was thinking, surely there must be at least one redeeming quality in everyone, however small? I try to see the best in people, then i think of all the horrible, bad , sick people in the world and it's so sad. That makes me wonder, what is my redeeming quality? Do i have one? Any?
Do i need someone? I keep thinking i do, but that's just the small part of me that's romantic, aka delusional. Of course i wish sometimes that i had someone to hold me, and look after me, someone who actually cared about all the silly little mishaps and happenings that make up my world. Most of all, i want someone to fall asleep and wake up beside me, as simple as that, i always kinda feel lonely at night, and i can't wait to grow up and have someone beside me.
But i know i'm asking too much when it comes to love. I want equality. For the love between me and that person to be the same- equal. Because otherwise it's unfair and painful. I know whats it's like to love someone so much and for them to barely love you in return.
I have such a need for affection, for people to love me, i cannot feel alone, that is why i love my friends so much. Whilst i can't say they understand me :D they know me enough and i don't know what i would do without them.
I'm not getting soppy now am i?
I love H&M. Or course it's because they have lots of Hello Kitty stuff, there was a bib and it was just sooooo cute, made me kinda broody.
Tried to pee outside yesterday. But i was too nervous, my bladder couldn't take the pressure, with thorns practically up my arse... i'm such a chicken.
I wish attraction was rational.
This weekend has been kinda good. I love my new shoes.
No comments:
Post a Comment